I wanna spend sometime to talk about my father tonight. 

Whenever I had conversation about my dad, I always make him sounds horrible. I don’t know. He is not a good husband. He doesn’t take care of my mom, and that makes him a terrible person. But he is a great father, and that makes him a nice man. 

I want to be like him. My dad is a very generous man. He is smart. He might not be educated, but he loves to learn. He is a nice man, but he is not someone you want to mess around with. He always look really calm. He never tell me things, so I don’t know. But I want to be like him. Looking calm even tough inside I am scared as shit. 

We don’t really see each other a lot, but I guess that’s what makes every moment we share precious. When I was a kid, my dad would bring me a lot of documentaries. There were bears, tigers, giraffes… and I was bored. Now when I think about it, I got all teary. But as a kid, I wasn’t too fascinated by real animals. My dad would make me read. I really appreciate how he’s giving me knowledge as a gift. Since I was a kid, he always push me to keep on learning. Learn everything! If I spent more time with him, I would probably be better at music and sports. 

One night, we were in a car and he asked me what subject do I hate the most in school. I said science. When we got home, he took two oranges and started explaining the solar system. It might not be relevant to what I was learning at that time. But I really appreciate his effort. He is trying to teach me everything he knows. That got me teary too. 

Throughout my life, he is never there. I would study really hard to make him proud, but he never get to see it. I don’t think he ever drove me to school. When I got first place in class, he wasn’t there. When I won competitions, he wasn’t there. When I was performing on stage, he wasn’t there. And finally when I graduated from high school, he wasn’t there. And now I’ve been here in United States for four years, he never visit. Lastly, it’s confirmed that he won’t be here May 2012 for my commencement. I wonder if he is going to miss my wedding too? Will he be there to see my baby? But even tough he’s never been by my side, he is the one who got me to where I am today. Without him, I will be nothing. 

Still, there are many terrible things. But there were more great things about him. 

If I could turn back time, I wouldn’t ask for a different family. I wouldn’t ask for a more typical normal 1 dad 1 mum family. I feel blessed. I just wish that we could have spent more time together. So he will get to know more about me. Everytime we see each other, he will always bring me to this restaurant and we’ll have hot and sour fish head. Because that’s the only food he knows I like. 

He needs to know more about me. I am a pretty damn amazing daughter. He should be really proud, because I am very proud of myself.